Why is it so hard to accept?
A clever man once said "You always either run towards now or run away from now"
Running around in circles as fast as the mind can flit
Is it really so terrible to be incapacitated and stuck?
Is it really so terrible to hang upside down from a high beam?
Is it really so terrible to sit and wait...and wait...and wait?
"What does it feel like?" you once asked me...
It is like a man breaking the water, gasping for fresh air, thinking "thank god! I am alive", only to be swept right under again and again and again. Pulled below by heavy shackles bound to his feet. You probably heard about Prometheus, the man who stole fire from the gods to spend the rest of eternity in Hades. Every day vultures would tear the liver from his living body with slow, agonizing 'grace'. Every night he would heal again, just so that the vultures could tear at him like a prayer the next day. If Prometheus dared to defy the gods today, he would probably be blessed with Bipolar. It feels pretty much the same.
So yesterday, after a couple of months of trying real hard to eat right, think right, feel right, act right, live right and pray right and realizing that the vultures return nevertheless, the sign "ACCEPT" was emblazoned on my face. It really goes against society's grain of doing something, trying real hard and going somewhere. I was finding it hard...to accept and wanted to say something...but then he said "what's 6 more months of waiting compared to an eternity of hell"...so I just shut up. 6 more months of blankness it is.