Accept

Acceptance,
Why is it so hard to accept?
A clever man once said "You always either run towards now or run away from now"
Running around in circles as fast as the mind can flit
Is it really so terrible to be incapacitated and stuck?
Is it really so terrible to hang upside down from a high beam?
Is it really so terrible to sit and wait...and wait...and wait?

"What does it feel like?" you once asked me...
It is like a man breaking the water, gasping for fresh air, thinking "thank god! I am alive", only to be swept right under again and again and again. Pulled below by heavy shackles bound to his feet. You probably heard about Prometheus, the man who stole fire from the gods to spend the rest of eternity in Hades. Every day vultures would tear the liver from his living body with slow, agonizing 'grace'. Every night he would heal again, just so that the vultures could tear at him like a prayer the next day. If Prometheus dared to defy the gods today, he would probably be blessed with Bipolar. It feels pretty much the same.

So yesterday, after a couple of months of trying real hard to eat right, think right, feel right, act right, live right and pray right and realizing that the vultures return nevertheless, the sign "ACCEPT" was emblazoned on my face. It really goes against society's grain of doing something, trying real hard and going somewhere. I was finding it hard...to accept and wanted to say something...but then he said "what's 6 more months of waiting compared to an eternity of hell"...so I just shut up. 6 more months of blankness it is.

Alien

Fear that it will be forgotten
That you will wander again, only to stumble on those rocks
You tripped on yesterday
Just climbing that sentry post to watch
In silence and disbelief
All the pain, torture, battery, cruelty, flogging and "justice"
All that which was executed with perfect conviction, obsession and fervor
Down there on the vast landscape of your memory, consciousness and experience
Which world does this bloody, beaten, wounded and wailing landscape belong to?
Who reigns here in this twisted dungeon built so faithfully in paradise?
Who lashes, shouts, abuses, flogs, burns, gores, cuts, strangles and suffocates?
Who is the master of this realm, built so passionately with bricks
of sins, mistakes, allegations, sentences, evictions, banishment, penance and shame
No notion of fair trial where guilt's the certain life and way
All based on firm conviction from scriptures that you make
How can you be so merciless, clever architect of hell?
Let me see your face, I won't run again
Won't hide, won't kick, won't shout, won't fret
My companion night and day
Let me see your face as you convulse in pain again
It's you I clearly see...It's you...It is me...

I am...

I am me, not you
So surely, I am me
I love you, I hate you
Without you, where is me?

I bought it, I ate it, I loved it
To be me
I combed it, I wore it, I hid it
To be me
I chanted and protested on your streets
To be me
I plastered it across my chest
The sign that read “I am me”
I flashed it, then denied it and threw it
To be me
I ran around in circles trying to find you
To be me

I held my book and screamed out loud to show you
I am me
I shut my books and shut my eyes to make me see
I am me
I held my sword and cut you out to make you feel
I am me
I held my sword and cut myself to make me feel
I am me
I put it in a treasure box and buried it
I am me
I searched for it in depths below, just to know
I am me
I built eight walls around my head to make me feel
I am me
I tried to break the stifling walls to make you see
I am me

I wore my specs of mirrors all the time
Just to be me
I carried it in memory jars in time
Just to be me
I swam across the seven seas and back
Just to be me
I wrote a hundred poems in your name
Just to be me
I stumbled on you every night...
I am me! I am me???

Satellite

Spinning on your axis, in motion round the sun
Rotating and revolving around his holy son
Stuck in orbit, incomplete, just want to face his sun
Long before I met you, this orbit had begun

All who dare to cross your path are satellites to be hung
Like diapers on a clothes line, all of them you strung
There I waited patiently, mere moon to a planet young
Wasted in to empty space, all the songs I'd sung

But from the dream, to be awake and know that I have won
For not a moon nor satellite, I am the brilliant sun!
No more longing or pretense to slaves of a distant sun
No satellite to dependent planets, I am the glorious sun!

There you go on orbiting, orbiting round his sun
So you revolve as does your world, it's not a mere pun
Free at last I shine away, leaving you to your sun
You were where you wish to be, long before my sun :-)

How did "they" create the word "Compassion"? Well they put two words together: Com (With) and Passion (Suffering) so that we could suffer with.. suffer with all and one... :-)

Joseph Campbell, the master of world mythology is my inspiration for the day. The beauty and power of myth is phenomenal...it's just that we get stuck in superficial social narratives, thus "totally" missing the point! :-)

The following quotes/ derivations are based on popular myths

On heroes and their quests:

We are the hero, the nemesis, the birth and the rebirth

"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive"

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience"

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are"

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. "

"When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness"

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again... and again"


On Myths:

"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths"

On Love and Marriage:

"The eyes have made welcome to the heart.."

You search for your twin soul...and in finding that soul, you find you!

Marriage is the recognition of a spiritual identity. It is made the moment the eyes recognize one another. When you feel "I know this person".."I want to know this person more"..."I've known this person all along"..It is when all time converges...and the physical remains a mere symbolic affirmation of that recognition... for it happened a long time before we did (or did not) say "I do"...:-)

"Stop! in the name of love!" (ha ha no that was just playing on the radio!)

Go re-read those myths! :-)

This, I wanted...

I wanted to suffer so that I could be joyous
I wanted to cry so that I could laugh
I wanted to frown so that I could smile
I wanted to hate so that I could love
I wanted to leave you so that I could be with you
I wanted to scream so that I could be silent
I wanted to kill so that I could live
I wanted to run so that I could come
I wanted to fear so that I could be fearless
I wanted to doubt so that I could believe
I wanted to cheat so that I could be honest
I wanted to lie so that I could be truthful
I wanted to destroy so that I could create
I wanted to be a man so that I could be a woman
I wanted to be everything so that I could be you (-: